How to Control Anger?

December 24, 2007

Most people find it very difficult to control anger and react to situations. The moment they feel that they are not in control the immediate outburst is anger. At every place we can find people who are in utmost rage. Simply because they are not in control of the situation, and they feel that they must be in control of themselves. The fact is that only because we are in control of ourselves, we get angry and show the same.

We allow ourselves to react to external situations. Anger is mostly because of an expectation mismatch. We expect certain things to happen in certain way and as it does not we tend to react. Invariably expectations from people is what makes us angry. We walk in to our work place expecting things to happen and as they do not happen because of certain people not working on them, we immediately respond.

Anger is quite common amongst all however if it exceed limitations can turn to be harmful. Because every time you get angry there is a huge amount of negative energy that is generated inside you which can be really destructive. You can control these emotions much more faster than what you think. All emotions are because of certain pictures that you run in your mind and if you can control these pictures yo! You have done it. The communication channel that you establish between the thoughts and the response is so fast that you are not aware of how this happen.

It is still possible and easy to overcome anger. The time you take to react to a situation is so huge, though you might think it is too small. An instant can change your life forever which mean an instant can control your anger too. It’s the way the mind perceives. Are there times when you stand on a queue and a few minutes looks like a few hours? Definitely yes, what you do is just distort time. We perceive few minutes as few hours. So the same can be done when you perceive a few seconds to be a few minutes and a few hours. So this give you lots of time to change the emotion and react in the positive way.

Ways to Control the Anger

Using Words: The moment you are about to kick start the anger, just tell yourself “Relax”, it can be as loud as possible inside your head. While there is a devil that’s there inside your mind wanting to burst out, the moment it hears the word relax, it calms down. An embedded command will immediately make the sub conscious mind take action. You can even see the letters of R – E – L – A – X on the person who is standing in front of you or make the letter in air so that it replaces the pictures you see that provokes you to anger.

Using Pictures: Control your anger by using the right pictures. You are forced to get angry because of an external event and expectations. The moment some of your expectations are not met, you immediately get angry. All you need to do it the push away the picture that you see inside your mind and create a blank white picture which conveys nothing and hence the emotion also is so neutral.

Use Breathing: Breathe deep from within which will control your anger immediately. This is of immense help because the breathing also changes the physiology and hence the images in the mind also change immediately thus making you control your anger

Use Humor: Convert your anger into humor. Whatever picture that you see make it as humorous as possible. See the people with horns, like monkey, like cartoon characters and so on. This will instantly put a smile on your face and after that you just cannot get angry.

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Comments

8 Responses to “How to Control Anger?”

R.Manoharan on March 11th, 2008 8:37 pm

Many a times we have been advised and given tips to control our ‘Anger’. But the way Mr.Praveen explained is different. It is perfectly explained as Mr.Praveen used to. It is a very useful article to all who really want to control their anger. After BTW course it is easily understandable
R.Manoharan on March 11th, 2008 8:45 pm

Many a times we have been advised and given tips to control our ‘Anger’. But the way Mr.Praveen explained is different. It is perfectly explained as Mr.Praveen used to do. It is a very useful article to all who really want to control their anger. After BTW course it is easily understandable. Thank you Praveen on behaif of ‘people going to control Anger’.
You ask for it!! | Life of Excellence on March 18th, 2008 3:17 am

[...] For example you may write “I would like to know tips and strategies on how to overcome anger”. I already have a post on “Can you Control your Anger” [...]
devi on April 8th, 2008 5:23 am

“Anger is bcos of expectation mismatch”.

Hi Praveen,

These words exactly reveal the birthplace of anger. u have heiped me

to know from where a challenge mostly occurs. u also have given the

techniques by which I can overcome them.Thank u so much.
Counselling & Psychology | Mallorca on June 4th, 2008 3:25 pm

Counselling & Psychology | Mallorca…

Before the relationships between the individuals can begin to be understood, it is important for all to recognize and acknowledge that everyone…
Renelyn on July 16th, 2008 9:28 am

Thanks a lot for this article! It helps me a lot. I work in a man who always make me angry, for now i learn to control it. Thanx!
Alex on September 13th, 2008 8:47 am

Hi Praveen, I am always impressed by your writings and they are very useful in my journey of self-awareness. Regarding Anger Control reasons, do you think self confidence is a contributing factor? I am generally short tempered, but I notice that when I go through periods of high success and achievement, nothing tends to anger me. I just let it brush past me with ease.
Your insights on this please!
Thanks
Alex
Manoj Kumar on January 23rd, 2009 6:05 am

What to do if there is mismatch of thinking, expectation, ideas etc with someone ?