“NO”
March 27, 2007
Learning to live our full potential also means that we have to learn to not always say “Yes” to what other people want. We can only move forward with our dreams and goals if we are focused on the things that will produce them.
So I simply decided on what I wanted in my life and what I didn’t. If I didn’t want to let friends borrow money any longer, then I had to make it my personal policy.
If I didn’t want to discuss important business deals over the phone anymore, then I had to make that my personal policy.
In general it’s not difficult to say to people what our policies are and we don’t even have to say the word “No”. People tend to respect policies. And it’s likely that no one will take them personally. They simply realize it’s a healthy boundary you have set for all occasions.
It gets more tricky to say “No” , however, when what we are being offered sounds attractive. How can we determine for ourselves what is a good choice and what isn’t?
I have learned to put such opportunity in writing, close my eyes and ask myself the following questions:
First of all I ask myself: “Would doing this be in my highest option”?, and when I feel it is, I ask myself what kind of information I need to gather and what I would need to do to make it happen.
Next I compare that information with what I know about achieving my goals.
Is everything in line or is this opportunity leading me down a different path?
Is it harmonizing with the purpose I am passionate about, or does it simply sound better than what I am doing at that moment?
It’s good to talk to a mentor or other advisors about potential opportunities and reflect on their knowledge and expertise. They can help to become aware of what’s involved and they can help to stay focused on our goals and dreams.
After a couple of years of practice I have learned to stay focused on my higher goals and I have learned to say no to good opportunities that interfere with my higher goals.
I had to discover that I was not rejected for saying “No”. Actually I noticed that people respected me for my clarity and drive.
You know, we are in control of how we feel and how we behave and express ourselves, and so are others. That means that if other people get upset with you saying “No”, well, that’s their choice. Isn’t it?
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