Stop your Anger!
January 16, 2010
Do you get Angry? Well that might not be the appropriate question because everyone in the world does get angry. Different people react or respond differently to situations. Now firstly remember what/who causes the anger? Anger is an emotion that we experience and it is not created because of a situation or someone telling you something. It is just a response to some event that we choose. A response or a reaction that we choose. But most of the times even before we realize we get angry and the worst part of this is that we later feel guilty and have a vacuum inside.
Remember most of the times when you get angry, it’s the anger on self because you feel let down by yourself for not being in control of the situation. And then to show the anger on self you start screaming or shouting. And a little later you feel down, depressed and guilty. Why so?
To draw a metaphor of this feeling, imagine that you have the anger inside you and it grows and becomes like a balloon. You just feel helpless of the situation and hence the feeling of anger grows inside you. As you keep on filling the balloon there is a threshold and at some time it burst. And the moment it bursts there is nothing left. And that’s when you feel the lowest.
Can you change it? Yes instead of reacting to situation, respond to it.
The So What Attitude
I have been practicing this for quite sometime now and it has been working for me. I call it the So What Attitude. When something goes wrong, you feel down and dejected and then this can intensify inside you as Anger. However there is a way of handling the same mistake that has been committed. You can just say to yourself ‘So What’. This immediately makes you get disassociated with that even for that instant. Remember you are not running away from the event. You are just making the choice to respond rather than react.
So when you say ‘So what’, you mellow down and then accept the mistake that has been done. You are in the right emotional state of mind, which will help you to act in the right way. The words that we use will greatly impact the state of mind. (Read my post on Power of Words http://lifeofexcellence.com/power-of-words-2)
I am sure you can start now! I cannot say stop getting Angry but Respond to Anger rather than reacting!
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Great Article…”So What” nice punch word like “Who Cares”…Really Powerful..
It is a great insight you have shared - when you get angry, you are truly angry with yourself in that situation….a shift in perspective makes a big difference in handling that situation which is what you helped do with this article. Great self-awareness article!!